"what is this salty discharge coming from my eyes" this is one of my favorite quotes from american pop culture. i think i like it so much because it embodies the emotional expectations (or lack thereof) of men in this day and age...
we all experience emotions, well at least health human beings experience emotions to a certain extent. that being said, the way we experience emotions differs greatly. some people are able to identify and label their emotions while others can't recognize them, let alone explain what they are. some people avoid them while others seem to seek them out.
what does all of this mean though?
i think our capacity to feel emotions is in part what makes us human. a few movies come to mind that support this idea (e.g. the day the earth stood, bicentennial man) but more importantly there are some scriptural differences as well. 2 nephi 2:25 talks about how we exist so that we may have joy. consequently, not only does our capacity to feel make us human, it is also the very reason for which we exist. lehi & nephi help shed some light on what it means to have joy. in their dream nephi partakes of the fruit of the tree of life where upon the angel asks him what it means. the response is that the fruit represents the love of God, 'yea and it is the most desirable above all else.'
so we exist to have joy, and the love of God is the most joyous thing to our souls. well that begs the question what is love? i've had a hard time conceptualizing this until recently.
let me first start by stating where emotions come from, at least according to a secular notion. a couple of different therapy approaches claim that all relational emotions stem from perceived threats to one's self-concept (e.g. self-identity) and attachment (our intimate relationships with others). our bodies' anatomical response to these perceived threats is the fight or flight response that we all heard about in pscyh 101. in other words, there is a perceived threat, our body reacts physiologically, and depending on our experience with our emotions we react to it in different ways. some people suppress it, some react to it with anger, some react with saddness, the list goes on... even how we label these emotions varies greatly. men typically suppress it and can't recognize it. women usually experience the emotion fully and then talk about it a lot.
a lot of therapist spend a lot of time helping people make sense of their emotions and then help create a safe place for each person to express them (usually feelings of being hurt and so forth).
so if that is where negative emotions come from how about the positive? well depending on how intelligent you are you may have figured it out. according to the aforementioned theories positve emotions stem from adding/contributing to one's self-concept and attachment. for example one of my favorite church quotes comes from President Hinckley's wife, she said that President Hinckley had always given her wings to fly and she loved him for it. i take this as President Hinckley did what he could to help his wife individualize, to find herself, build her self-concept, help her realize who she was and consequently she loved him for it. a few posts down in an entry entitled "progress" i talk about our first encounter with God and what that must have been like. this theory would state that the reason why we felt God's love for us for the first time would be because He helped us see who we are and what we can become.
i've also had a professor define love as the following: 'love is the power that binds us to what we are capable of becoming.' that would help us understand why "true love awakens a longing that cannot be denied" -Elder Groberg. when we feel true love from God or from others we get a sense of our goodness, of who we are and what we can become whether or not we see it ourselves.
we can't live a life devoid of emotions. they are the result of living in a world in which we are interdependent upon others. futhermore, they are likely one of the main reasons why we are here on this earth. d&c 93:33 states that there isn't a fullness of joy without an inseparable connection of body and spirit. it is soooooo imporant that we learn about our bodies and our emotions. so much of our happiness in this life and the next depends on our emotions. we must learn how to feel, recognize and label them.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Monday, November 1, 2010
simplicity
as a small child i can remember how other adults caused me to wonder (to think or speculate curiously) about the amazing things they were capable of doing with their minds. for example my father, an electrical engineer, would often come home from work and talk about an exciting new project. whether it was a cool gas analyzer that could simply intake the air from any ambient and precisely tell you what kind of chemicals were in the air or a car that could literally drive itself, i was constantly amazed at what we are capable of doing. i can also remember thinking how wise and all-knowing these people must be in order to accomplish such great things. well, now i am old-er and i ask myself what has come of that childhood wonder?
here's the answer to that question...
everything in this life can be broken down into bite sized bits and pieces to make those seemingly impossible tasks into something plausible and pragmatic. there isn't anything in this life that is too complex or too impossible if we simply start out with the basics and build upon them.
that brings me to the main topic for this post: faith. the other night i asked my friend to define faith for me. he, like many of us would, struggled giving me a clear and concise answer. in the past i have studied the scriptures and other church materials such as "lectures on faith", "articles of faith" etc. but i'm not sure i truly understood it either. i wondered, "how does faith differ from belief? can i have faith by sitting in the corner of my room wishing something will happen? how can so many different religions have faith in God, yet be so different? what exactly is the relationship between works and faith (joseph smith said the greatest works of faith are done by words)? could faith just be some abstract notion too hard to understand? the list of questions goes on and on and on.
well, i recently came across some things that shed some light on the basic building blocks of faith (in my opinion).
first off, faith was not a religious word at its conception. i'll say that again in different words, originally faith had nothing to do with religion. you might ask... "if it wasn't a religious word, then what was it used for?" well, i'm glad you asked. faith was a word used for contractual agreements. to say you had "faith in somebody" meant that you had a contractual agreement with that person.
this contractual agreement essentially had five components to it. they are: specific terms (to the agreement), object (what is being exchanged in the agreement), ratification, assurance and finally, the ultimate fulfillment of the contract.
i think that understanding this sets the foundation for understanding faith, what it is and why the early apostles talked about it in the way that they did.
this is going to be cut short because i'm not sure a blog is an appropriate place to talk about this. i will say though, thinking about faith this way has led to a lot changes in how i understand faith.
here's the answer to that question...
everything in this life can be broken down into bite sized bits and pieces to make those seemingly impossible tasks into something plausible and pragmatic. there isn't anything in this life that is too complex or too impossible if we simply start out with the basics and build upon them.
that brings me to the main topic for this post: faith. the other night i asked my friend to define faith for me. he, like many of us would, struggled giving me a clear and concise answer. in the past i have studied the scriptures and other church materials such as "lectures on faith", "articles of faith" etc. but i'm not sure i truly understood it either. i wondered, "how does faith differ from belief? can i have faith by sitting in the corner of my room wishing something will happen? how can so many different religions have faith in God, yet be so different? what exactly is the relationship between works and faith (joseph smith said the greatest works of faith are done by words)? could faith just be some abstract notion too hard to understand? the list of questions goes on and on and on.
well, i recently came across some things that shed some light on the basic building blocks of faith (in my opinion).
first off, faith was not a religious word at its conception. i'll say that again in different words, originally faith had nothing to do with religion. you might ask... "if it wasn't a religious word, then what was it used for?" well, i'm glad you asked. faith was a word used for contractual agreements. to say you had "faith in somebody" meant that you had a contractual agreement with that person.
this contractual agreement essentially had five components to it. they are: specific terms (to the agreement), object (what is being exchanged in the agreement), ratification, assurance and finally, the ultimate fulfillment of the contract.
i think that understanding this sets the foundation for understanding faith, what it is and why the early apostles talked about it in the way that they did.
this is going to be cut short because i'm not sure a blog is an appropriate place to talk about this. i will say though, thinking about faith this way has led to a lot changes in how i understand faith.
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
get busy livin' or get busy dyin'
The title of this blog comes from my favorite movie, Shawshank Redemption. I highly recommend you see it if you haven't had the opportunity to do so yet.
Perhaps one reason why I like this movie so much is because of Andy Dufresne's (the main character) demeanor and life attitude. Despite the series of unfortunate events that seemingly destroy his life on the outside, he continues to flourish within.
At one point in the movie Andy gets thrown into solitary confinement for playing opera music on the prison facilities' public announcement system. This stunt lands him in "the hole" for two weeks, more time than anyone had ever heard of someone serving. Upon coming out of "the hole" his friends ask him what the time was like, to which Andy responds "easiest time I’ve ever served, I had Mozart to keep me company." His friends immediately enquire if he had a record player and Andy responds "no, what's in here (pointing to his head) and in here (pointing to his heart) they can't ever take away."
Andy is continuously dealt a bad hand of cards throughout the first half of the movie. For example, his wife has an affair, she then wants to divorce, she is then murdered, he is tried and convicted of her murder, and to round things out he is repeatedly beaten and raped. Despite all of this, Andy maintains his quiet and subdued mannerisms and flourishes within.
The day before the big event (don't want to give it away if you haven't seen it) Andy tells his best friend "either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." I don't think Andy was talking about dying or living in the sense we typically think of. He meant something much deeper. We either get busy living by using our minds and developing our intellectual powers, and finding beauty that only a keen mind is capable of comprehending or don't and slowly diminish and wither away.
Our ambient doesn't have to hold us back and keep us from "livin", but I think it so often does in our lives. The movie is a great reminder of the responsibility we have to ourselves to rise to our potential by freeing ourselves of our circumstances, no matter what they are. Not important if they be incarceration and physical abuse (such as it was with Andy) or anything else that we might face ourselves. Our minds shouldn't be subject to our flesh or any other external factors, yet our minds should influence our flesh and overcome any unjust external factors that bind us. It is then at this point that we are freed and we find salvation that lies within ourselves. Then and only then do the inherent external injustices of the world that incarcerate each one of us no longer affect our lives.
Some of the following lines typify what I am speaking of:
“Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?
Red: I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here.
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.
Red: Forget?
Andy Dufresne: Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.
Red: What're you talking about?
Andy Dufresne: Hope.
Perhaps one reason why I like this movie so much is because of Andy Dufresne's (the main character) demeanor and life attitude. Despite the series of unfortunate events that seemingly destroy his life on the outside, he continues to flourish within.
At one point in the movie Andy gets thrown into solitary confinement for playing opera music on the prison facilities' public announcement system. This stunt lands him in "the hole" for two weeks, more time than anyone had ever heard of someone serving. Upon coming out of "the hole" his friends ask him what the time was like, to which Andy responds "easiest time I’ve ever served, I had Mozart to keep me company." His friends immediately enquire if he had a record player and Andy responds "no, what's in here (pointing to his head) and in here (pointing to his heart) they can't ever take away."
Andy is continuously dealt a bad hand of cards throughout the first half of the movie. For example, his wife has an affair, she then wants to divorce, she is then murdered, he is tried and convicted of her murder, and to round things out he is repeatedly beaten and raped. Despite all of this, Andy maintains his quiet and subdued mannerisms and flourishes within.
The day before the big event (don't want to give it away if you haven't seen it) Andy tells his best friend "either get busy livin' or get busy dyin'." I don't think Andy was talking about dying or living in the sense we typically think of. He meant something much deeper. We either get busy living by using our minds and developing our intellectual powers, and finding beauty that only a keen mind is capable of comprehending or don't and slowly diminish and wither away.
Our ambient doesn't have to hold us back and keep us from "livin", but I think it so often does in our lives. The movie is a great reminder of the responsibility we have to ourselves to rise to our potential by freeing ourselves of our circumstances, no matter what they are. Not important if they be incarceration and physical abuse (such as it was with Andy) or anything else that we might face ourselves. Our minds shouldn't be subject to our flesh or any other external factors, yet our minds should influence our flesh and overcome any unjust external factors that bind us. It is then at this point that we are freed and we find salvation that lies within ourselves. Then and only then do the inherent external injustices of the world that incarcerate each one of us no longer affect our lives.
Some of the following lines typify what I am speaking of:
“Remember Red, hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies.”
Andy Dufresne: That's the beauty of music. They can't get that from you... Haven't you ever felt that way about music?
Red: I played a mean harmonica as a younger man. Lost interest in it though. Didn't make much sense in here.
Andy Dufresne: Here's where it makes the most sense. You need it so you don't forget.
Red: Forget?
Andy Dufresne: Forget that... there are places in this world that aren't made out of stone. That there's something inside... that they can't get to, that they can't touch. That's yours.
Red: What're you talking about?
Andy Dufresne: Hope.
Monday, July 19, 2010
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
Progress
One thing that used to bother me was the question of: why did God let people progress in the plan of salvation if He knew that certain people wouldn't progress all the way to the Celestial Kingdom. Wouldn't it be better for them to wait and progress to a point that would increase their likelihood of exaltation before being born spiritually? Well this question leads to one to ponder why we choose this plan in the first place.
I believe that we existed as self-existent beings before we were born SPIRITUALLY. There are several reasons for this; Proclamation says that "God ordained families", or in other words, God put us in that order; TPJS says that we were self-existent beings. What does that mean? We were "self-existent beings and to what extent are we self-existent now?
Well, if God put families in order (ordaining them) then what social unit existed before families? How about none? After all we were self-existent. We weren't dependent upon any other individual for anything. We had no emotional dependency or physical dependency either.
In this regard, now in this earthly state we are not self-existent to any extent. Here on earth we need people. We are hard-wired to connect to others. We need to be loved in order to be healthy. We just don't properly function unless we have some sort of connection with other people.
What does this mean about our pre-SPIRITUAL life though? Well, its possible that we were ignorant of all of the emotions that come through relationships with other individuals. This means we most likely had never experienced love, sadness and happiness. We were intelligences with a vast knowledge, yet we didn't understand emotions to the fullest extent.
So, here we are as intelligences (and who knows what kind of form we had) that are capable of living forever with the knowledge that we had obtained, and could obtain in our state.
First encounter with God:
Imagine yourself during your first encounter with God. Here is an individual that is completely different than us. He has a different form, He's even composed of a different substance than us and this form, a body, enables Him to experience things we've never imagined. First and foremost, God has a wife. We don't even know what a wife is. We understand that there is another individual, or intelligence, that is inseparably connected with God. In fact that connection with that other intelligence is what qualifies Him to have the title "God". Well this connection is quite odd to us, because God isn't self-existent, in fact He is interdependent upon His wife and vice versa . This concept is completely foreign to us. These two seemingly disparate intelligences have been forged as One, yet they remain as individuals. This union that joins Them enables Them to experience a fullness of joy (D&C 93:33). It allows Them to experience emotions on a level never ever conceived by us before. For truly our emotional capacity is increased when we are dependent upon others.
So here we are observing this for the first time. Here are these Two individuals as One. Now there's more. We not only view God and His Wife, but we begin a relationship with Them. We begin to feel Their love for us. This is something totally foreign, we begin to feel something within us that isn't logical. It's a power within us that we don't fully understand, but we know who is the source of it, God. Let me say this in layman terms, we felt love for the first time. How would that feel?
We not only view God and feel His love, but we also observe God's family. God has children. He loves them. His children are entitled to feel more of His love. These beings are also no longer self-existent, they to have given that up, but as a result they are co-dependent upon God. They can feel His love and are therefore more capable of greater joy.
If agency is an eternal principle than we must have chosen, ourselves, to enter into God's plan and after feeling God's love why wouldn't we? God explains to us that He will teach us how to become like Him and also He'll enable us to feel love like He does.
Here is the answer to the first question: why did God allow those whom He knew wouldn't progress to the Celestial Kingdom to enter into the plan of salvation?
Well, for those intelligences that went through the previous mentioned process. Wouldn't they be better off to be part of God's family than to be eternally lonely? Especially after feeling God's love for the first time, there's no way they'd want to leave that behind and continue on in their realm of existence, their knowledge of God coaxed them to move forward and to progress. So even those that don't obtain the Celestial Kingdom will still always be a part of God's family and be happy and loved.
What does this mean to us in this life? What implications does this have for marriage? How does this change how we act now?
This gives so much more meaning to eternal marriage and what it stands for. It should change everything about how we treat our spouses and our family members.
God is trying to enable us to become perfect so we can repeat the process of helping other intelligences to the same state that He is in. Only those who become like Him will be give the title of God and the powers to create life.
When we marry we are literally becoming one before the Lord. We become interdependent upon that individual for our exaltation. We will never be the same. For eons and eons we had been single individuals, existing on our own, but now everything is different. But its done with good reason, for what we'll be able to obtain is far beyond anything we could on our own.
How sad is it to see individuals who do not understand the role of marriage in their eternal progression. For eons they were single and sadly sometimes those who are married struggle too much giving up that self-existing component of their existence. They fail to learn how to rely and depend upon their spouse. They live out their lives continuing as they once were and hence lose out on the blessings of marriage.
Our marriages should mean a lot to us. Not only in the eternal picture but also in our current picture. The most joyous thing to our souls is love derived from our relationships with other individuals and God.
It's no wonder that we struggle so much with relationships here on earth. They are such a new concept to us in our existence, as are emotions that come with them.
The Lord said "if ye are not one, ye are not mine." why is that? Is it perhaps because being God in and of itself implies being one with another individual? In order to understand this we must keep in mind that God is a title. A title that is given to a male who has achieved Godship with his wife.
Ironically it is God's same love that will carry us to back to His presence as He is. Only as we feel His love here on earth do we begin to truly obey Him and become like Him. Love is the common thread we find throughout the entire plan of salvation. It is the common thread that motivates us to progress and move forward.
God is trying to enable us to love has He does. That process is painful. With the increased capacity of love also comes the increased capacity for sorrow and sadness. Emotions are a double edged sword.
The true opposite of love is apathy. Its losing touch and importance for God's love. When we become apathetic we lose touch with that infinite power to motivate us. It was most likely the very reason that we chose the plan of salvation to begin with. Oh how dangerous apathy is.
I believe that we existed as self-existent beings before we were born SPIRITUALLY. There are several reasons for this; Proclamation says that "God ordained families", or in other words, God put us in that order; TPJS says that we were self-existent beings. What does that mean? We were "self-existent beings and to what extent are we self-existent now?
Well, if God put families in order (ordaining them) then what social unit existed before families? How about none? After all we were self-existent. We weren't dependent upon any other individual for anything. We had no emotional dependency or physical dependency either.
In this regard, now in this earthly state we are not self-existent to any extent. Here on earth we need people. We are hard-wired to connect to others. We need to be loved in order to be healthy. We just don't properly function unless we have some sort of connection with other people.
What does this mean about our pre-SPIRITUAL life though? Well, its possible that we were ignorant of all of the emotions that come through relationships with other individuals. This means we most likely had never experienced love, sadness and happiness. We were intelligences with a vast knowledge, yet we didn't understand emotions to the fullest extent.
So, here we are as intelligences (and who knows what kind of form we had) that are capable of living forever with the knowledge that we had obtained, and could obtain in our state.
First encounter with God:
Imagine yourself during your first encounter with God. Here is an individual that is completely different than us. He has a different form, He's even composed of a different substance than us and this form, a body, enables Him to experience things we've never imagined. First and foremost, God has a wife. We don't even know what a wife is. We understand that there is another individual, or intelligence, that is inseparably connected with God. In fact that connection with that other intelligence is what qualifies Him to have the title "God". Well this connection is quite odd to us, because God isn't self-existent, in fact He is interdependent upon His wife and vice versa . This concept is completely foreign to us. These two seemingly disparate intelligences have been forged as One, yet they remain as individuals. This union that joins Them enables Them to experience a fullness of joy (D&C 93:33). It allows Them to experience emotions on a level never ever conceived by us before. For truly our emotional capacity is increased when we are dependent upon others.
So here we are observing this for the first time. Here are these Two individuals as One. Now there's more. We not only view God and His Wife, but we begin a relationship with Them. We begin to feel Their love for us. This is something totally foreign, we begin to feel something within us that isn't logical. It's a power within us that we don't fully understand, but we know who is the source of it, God. Let me say this in layman terms, we felt love for the first time. How would that feel?
We not only view God and feel His love, but we also observe God's family. God has children. He loves them. His children are entitled to feel more of His love. These beings are also no longer self-existent, they to have given that up, but as a result they are co-dependent upon God. They can feel His love and are therefore more capable of greater joy.
If agency is an eternal principle than we must have chosen, ourselves, to enter into God's plan and after feeling God's love why wouldn't we? God explains to us that He will teach us how to become like Him and also He'll enable us to feel love like He does.
Here is the answer to the first question: why did God allow those whom He knew wouldn't progress to the Celestial Kingdom to enter into the plan of salvation?
Well, for those intelligences that went through the previous mentioned process. Wouldn't they be better off to be part of God's family than to be eternally lonely? Especially after feeling God's love for the first time, there's no way they'd want to leave that behind and continue on in their realm of existence, their knowledge of God coaxed them to move forward and to progress. So even those that don't obtain the Celestial Kingdom will still always be a part of God's family and be happy and loved.
What does this mean to us in this life? What implications does this have for marriage? How does this change how we act now?
This gives so much more meaning to eternal marriage and what it stands for. It should change everything about how we treat our spouses and our family members.
God is trying to enable us to become perfect so we can repeat the process of helping other intelligences to the same state that He is in. Only those who become like Him will be give the title of God and the powers to create life.
When we marry we are literally becoming one before the Lord. We become interdependent upon that individual for our exaltation. We will never be the same. For eons and eons we had been single individuals, existing on our own, but now everything is different. But its done with good reason, for what we'll be able to obtain is far beyond anything we could on our own.
How sad is it to see individuals who do not understand the role of marriage in their eternal progression. For eons they were single and sadly sometimes those who are married struggle too much giving up that self-existing component of their existence. They fail to learn how to rely and depend upon their spouse. They live out their lives continuing as they once were and hence lose out on the blessings of marriage.
Our marriages should mean a lot to us. Not only in the eternal picture but also in our current picture. The most joyous thing to our souls is love derived from our relationships with other individuals and God.
It's no wonder that we struggle so much with relationships here on earth. They are such a new concept to us in our existence, as are emotions that come with them.
The Lord said "if ye are not one, ye are not mine." why is that? Is it perhaps because being God in and of itself implies being one with another individual? In order to understand this we must keep in mind that God is a title. A title that is given to a male who has achieved Godship with his wife.
Ironically it is God's same love that will carry us to back to His presence as He is. Only as we feel His love here on earth do we begin to truly obey Him and become like Him. Love is the common thread we find throughout the entire plan of salvation. It is the common thread that motivates us to progress and move forward.
God is trying to enable us to love has He does. That process is painful. With the increased capacity of love also comes the increased capacity for sorrow and sadness. Emotions are a double edged sword.
The true opposite of love is apathy. Its losing touch and importance for God's love. When we become apathetic we lose touch with that infinite power to motivate us. It was most likely the very reason that we chose the plan of salvation to begin with. Oh how dangerous apathy is.
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Virtue
Today I sat through a less than interesting class on sexual relations that was taught by a member of the bishopric. It was a little less than interesting because I think the teacher didn't feel comfortable talking about the topic. As I sat there I started thinking to myself, as I normally do when I am bored, about morality and why it is such an important topic.
I am not sure people give enough credit to God's role in a relationship between man and his wife. When a couple is married in the temple they make covenants not only with his or her spouse, but also with God. Quite fitting, especially when we understand that love is a gift from God. Yes, even romantic love is something bestowed upon us from above. There are certainly decisions that we have to make in order for us to obtain this love for another person. Personality traits, temperament, life goals, religiosity, physical appearance and so forth make it easier for us to love some more than others, but ultimately God takes our decision of who we want to love and makes it into something divine.
It's because of this doctrine that I believe a person's capacity to develop true love for someone else is undeniably linked to the amount of virtue they have with that person. A common phrase for having sexual intercourse is "making love", but I would tend to think that the physical acts of intimacy have nothing to do with creating love, but a manifestation of love. (I do believe however, that that sex does create a deeper love and bond for one's partner, but only when there is a foundation of love to begin with). Too often I think society gets confused about what love is, whether it is the Disney Fairy Tale Story (which irrational belief is found in ubiquitous fashion in Provo) or the lust/pleasure love principle.
Something else that is rarely mentioned in the topic of romantic relationships is love for one's self. I think we have to reach a certain level of emotional stability before we can experience true love. Let me flush out this idea. If an individual is not secure, or lacks a significant amount of self-confidence, the approval and acceptance they seek from another individual interferes with their ability to give to their partner what they need to develop true love. I am by no stretch of the imagination saying we have to be 100% confident in ourselves or be completely independent (because we aren't even hard wired to be that way), but we do have to reach a certain level of emotional stability before we are capable of experiencing true love. Another reason for this stems from the fact that a temple marriage binds two distinct, disparate individuals as one in the eyes of the Lord. Marriage is supposed to compliment and beautify us as individuals and as a couple. But how can marriage do this if the individual has not developed in their own right?
Sex is the symbolic rite we perform to show our union to another individual. The union of our desires, wants, dreams, hopes, commitment and so forth. To perform such an act with an individual with whom one has no such union is a mockery of God's ability to bind two individuals together for eternity. I love the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of the individual parts.
It is late and I want to end this, but I just remembered something else. Social science research suggest that certain hormones are released during sexual intercourse (especially the first few encounters and for females) that have a lasting effect on the brain. These effects are often an emotional connection with the individual. These effects can not really be erased from the brain, it is simply part of the human development. Do you think there is anything to be said about being emotional mature and ready for sex, especially for those whom may not understand their own emotions and are incapable of handling their own emotions?
The idea that marriage binds two distinct individuals is pretty fascinating. Think about it. Our entire existence up until this point we have been an individual before the Lord, but after marriage, in some ways, we will never be viewed as such by the Lord. Marriage ultimately binds two souls as one... and that, I know has a lot to do with why we are on this earth and how we progress in an eternal perspective.
I am not sure people give enough credit to God's role in a relationship between man and his wife. When a couple is married in the temple they make covenants not only with his or her spouse, but also with God. Quite fitting, especially when we understand that love is a gift from God. Yes, even romantic love is something bestowed upon us from above. There are certainly decisions that we have to make in order for us to obtain this love for another person. Personality traits, temperament, life goals, religiosity, physical appearance and so forth make it easier for us to love some more than others, but ultimately God takes our decision of who we want to love and makes it into something divine.
It's because of this doctrine that I believe a person's capacity to develop true love for someone else is undeniably linked to the amount of virtue they have with that person. A common phrase for having sexual intercourse is "making love", but I would tend to think that the physical acts of intimacy have nothing to do with creating love, but a manifestation of love. (I do believe however, that that sex does create a deeper love and bond for one's partner, but only when there is a foundation of love to begin with). Too often I think society gets confused about what love is, whether it is the Disney Fairy Tale Story (which irrational belief is found in ubiquitous fashion in Provo) or the lust/pleasure love principle.
Something else that is rarely mentioned in the topic of romantic relationships is love for one's self. I think we have to reach a certain level of emotional stability before we can experience true love. Let me flush out this idea. If an individual is not secure, or lacks a significant amount of self-confidence, the approval and acceptance they seek from another individual interferes with their ability to give to their partner what they need to develop true love. I am by no stretch of the imagination saying we have to be 100% confident in ourselves or be completely independent (because we aren't even hard wired to be that way), but we do have to reach a certain level of emotional stability before we are capable of experiencing true love. Another reason for this stems from the fact that a temple marriage binds two distinct, disparate individuals as one in the eyes of the Lord. Marriage is supposed to compliment and beautify us as individuals and as a couple. But how can marriage do this if the individual has not developed in their own right?
Sex is the symbolic rite we perform to show our union to another individual. The union of our desires, wants, dreams, hopes, commitment and so forth. To perform such an act with an individual with whom one has no such union is a mockery of God's ability to bind two individuals together for eternity. I love the idea that the whole is greater than the sum of the individual parts.
It is late and I want to end this, but I just remembered something else. Social science research suggest that certain hormones are released during sexual intercourse (especially the first few encounters and for females) that have a lasting effect on the brain. These effects are often an emotional connection with the individual. These effects can not really be erased from the brain, it is simply part of the human development. Do you think there is anything to be said about being emotional mature and ready for sex, especially for those whom may not understand their own emotions and are incapable of handling their own emotions?
The idea that marriage binds two distinct individuals is pretty fascinating. Think about it. Our entire existence up until this point we have been an individual before the Lord, but after marriage, in some ways, we will never be viewed as such by the Lord. Marriage ultimately binds two souls as one... and that, I know has a lot to do with why we are on this earth and how we progress in an eternal perspective.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Fabrication of the Lie
This has been on my mind for a few months. Finally took a few minutes to flesh out a rough outline of it.
Oh how the pen is mightier than the sword. Two months ago I watched The Invention of Lying. It is a movie about a man who lives in a reality with no lies. Early on in the movie the main character realizes that he does not have to say what he thinks (which is truth according to the movie) and that he can even say something that is not true. Finding that telling these lies can be advantageous he tells more and more, until he is caught in a web of lies. One particular lie that the movie focuses on is that he pretends to know about the afterlife. His divine knowledge soon becomes wide spread and people flock to him for answers. In an attempt to skirt these questions he tells everyone that there is a man in the sky, and that he controls everything: illness, disease, birth, death… the whole gambit. His listeners are not very pleased with this and say some extremely offensive things about the man in the sky.
I thought this movie was extremely sad. Sad that someone’s perception of the origin of religion is wrought with lies. Although the movie does address the fact that religion does give people hope, it practically mocks religion and everything it stand for.
On to my point of interest. I wonder if it ever occurred to the person who created the aforementioned movie that perhaps the big lie is that there isn’t religion? Hasn’t religion been a part of society from the beginning? Religion is nothing more than communication with God that is passed on to other people.
To further develop my ideas I’m going to refer to Scripture. I realize the irony in referring to a religious text for the sake of arguing my religious perspective, but bare with me and keep in mind I am aware of this.
In Moses chapter five we read about Adam and Eve and their experience in the Garden of Eden and their subsequent adventures after their fall. Their account shows that God communicated with them and taught them the gospel, namely that they should rely on the Savior. They also were instructed to conduct ordinances, keep a record, and teach others of God and their relationship to Him. In essence they had created the first religion known to mankind.
Later on in Moses chapter five we also learn about Cain and his dealings with Satan, from which Cain would gain the title of “The Father of all Lies.”
The major dissension had occurred and the division that chose to follow Adam’s religion would die out at some point and apostasy would reign and the cycle of dispensations and apostasy began.
One of the biggest lies first told was that there was no religion, to doubt what Adam and Eve were telling their descendants.
Religion – the proof of its goodness lies within logic.
I am currently reading Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. In his book he talks about how we cannot break commandments, but only break ourselves against them. To illustrate this point he tells a story about a ship at sea. This particular ship notices a light off in the distance and that it’s course is heading for a collision. The captain of the ship orders his crew to send a message to the other ship to change its course 20 degrees. Moments later a response is sent back which says, “you change 20 degrees.” The ship captain has his crew respond “this is captain of the ship, change your course 20 degrees!” Moments later the response from the mysterious light is “this is a second class seamen, change course 20 degrees” Infuriated the captain sends one last message, “this is a large freight ship, change course 20 degrees. Finally, this mysterious light responds “I am a lighthouse, change course 20 degrees.”
What a great story. Covey goes on to explain that principles (which are often associated with religions) such as integrity, respect, hard work, kindness and so forth are the light house and cannot be altered. We represent the ship captains. Sometimes we think that we can ignore or alter certain life principles and avoid the consequences, but his point is we can not; we can only break ourselves.
Look at the lack of morals, values and principles in our society and how bad things are now. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we lived in the director’s reality of The Invention of the Lie? Do what you want, say what you think, live by no code of conduct.
One might argue, well hasn’t religious caused the majority of wars in the history of mankind? Perhaps, but religious people don’t necessarily adhere to principles.
I love that quote, “we can’t break the commandments, only break ourselves against them.”
If religion is fabricated, how is that the morals and principles that it teaches are the recipe for a successful, happy life?
Oh how the pen is mightier than the sword. Two months ago I watched The Invention of Lying. It is a movie about a man who lives in a reality with no lies. Early on in the movie the main character realizes that he does not have to say what he thinks (which is truth according to the movie) and that he can even say something that is not true. Finding that telling these lies can be advantageous he tells more and more, until he is caught in a web of lies. One particular lie that the movie focuses on is that he pretends to know about the afterlife. His divine knowledge soon becomes wide spread and people flock to him for answers. In an attempt to skirt these questions he tells everyone that there is a man in the sky, and that he controls everything: illness, disease, birth, death… the whole gambit. His listeners are not very pleased with this and say some extremely offensive things about the man in the sky.
I thought this movie was extremely sad. Sad that someone’s perception of the origin of religion is wrought with lies. Although the movie does address the fact that religion does give people hope, it practically mocks religion and everything it stand for.
On to my point of interest. I wonder if it ever occurred to the person who created the aforementioned movie that perhaps the big lie is that there isn’t religion? Hasn’t religion been a part of society from the beginning? Religion is nothing more than communication with God that is passed on to other people.
To further develop my ideas I’m going to refer to Scripture. I realize the irony in referring to a religious text for the sake of arguing my religious perspective, but bare with me and keep in mind I am aware of this.
In Moses chapter five we read about Adam and Eve and their experience in the Garden of Eden and their subsequent adventures after their fall. Their account shows that God communicated with them and taught them the gospel, namely that they should rely on the Savior. They also were instructed to conduct ordinances, keep a record, and teach others of God and their relationship to Him. In essence they had created the first religion known to mankind.
Later on in Moses chapter five we also learn about Cain and his dealings with Satan, from which Cain would gain the title of “The Father of all Lies.”
The major dissension had occurred and the division that chose to follow Adam’s religion would die out at some point and apostasy would reign and the cycle of dispensations and apostasy began.
One of the biggest lies first told was that there was no religion, to doubt what Adam and Eve were telling their descendants.
Religion – the proof of its goodness lies within logic.
I am currently reading Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen R. Covey. In his book he talks about how we cannot break commandments, but only break ourselves against them. To illustrate this point he tells a story about a ship at sea. This particular ship notices a light off in the distance and that it’s course is heading for a collision. The captain of the ship orders his crew to send a message to the other ship to change its course 20 degrees. Moments later a response is sent back which says, “you change 20 degrees.” The ship captain has his crew respond “this is captain of the ship, change your course 20 degrees!” Moments later the response from the mysterious light is “this is a second class seamen, change course 20 degrees” Infuriated the captain sends one last message, “this is a large freight ship, change course 20 degrees. Finally, this mysterious light responds “I am a lighthouse, change course 20 degrees.”
What a great story. Covey goes on to explain that principles (which are often associated with religions) such as integrity, respect, hard work, kindness and so forth are the light house and cannot be altered. We represent the ship captains. Sometimes we think that we can ignore or alter certain life principles and avoid the consequences, but his point is we can not; we can only break ourselves.
Look at the lack of morals, values and principles in our society and how bad things are now. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we lived in the director’s reality of The Invention of the Lie? Do what you want, say what you think, live by no code of conduct.
One might argue, well hasn’t religious caused the majority of wars in the history of mankind? Perhaps, but religious people don’t necessarily adhere to principles.
I love that quote, “we can’t break the commandments, only break ourselves against them.”
If religion is fabricated, how is that the morals and principles that it teaches are the recipe for a successful, happy life?